He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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