I just pynch a tree in the face
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
