best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i now understand why vodka
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
