O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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