Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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