"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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