wat bout pragnant strippers??
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
this boner is exhausting
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
