good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
