just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize