You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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