Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize