I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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