but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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