he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
