I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
