i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it because I queefed?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
there is puke in my bra ... again
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