just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
