is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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