whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
