yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
