listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
