I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
as a side note pls kill me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
