i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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