remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
