hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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