Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
