im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
