new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
