Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Never underestimate the power of titties
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
