I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
