I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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