ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
