Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
