so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
