Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
