i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
