Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
