It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
