She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize