once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
