Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
