is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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