my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
