There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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