i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
