I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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