PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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