i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
