Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
