carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
