Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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