i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
