I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
