On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
