dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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