How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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