Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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