I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
