I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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