I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
COCAINE IS GR8
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
