I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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