Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
