Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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