Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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