There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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